法律與秩序@劇情花絮@電影@交朋友看電影談戀愛
法律與秩序劇情介紹, 法與制劇情介紹, 法律與秩序花絮, 主演:邁克爾·因佩裡奧利,安吉·哈蒙,Elisabeth Rohm, 電影
法律與秩序,法與制,劇情花絮:Theshowfollowsacrime,usuallyadaptedfromcurrentheadlines,fromtwoseparatev…
Theshowfollowsacrime,usuallyadaptedfromcurrentheadlines,fromtwoseparatevantagepoints.Thefirsthalfoftheshowconcentratesontheinvestigationofthecrimebythepolice,thesecondhalffollowstheprosecutionofthecrimeincourt.
[Openingnarration]
Narrator:Inthecriminaljusticesystem,thepeoplearerepresentedbytwoseparateyetequallyimportantgroups:thepolice,whoinvestigatecrime;andthedistrictattorneys,whoprosecutetheoffenders.Thesearetheirstories.
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[Discussingasmallsteelspringthatisradioactive]
Scientist:Sodoyouhaveanysuspectswithnuclearreactorsintheirbasements?
Det.LennieBriscoe:Asamatteroffact,wedo.
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BenStone:Bettertolightamatchthancursethedarkness.
AdamSchiff:Becarefulyoudon'tlightafuse.
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AdamSchiff:Terrific.Nowtowinalarcenytrialallwehavetodoisprovehowtheuniverseends.
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AdamSchiff:Whathappenedto"Givemeyourhuddledmasses"?Whatthehellhashappenedtothiscity?
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JamieRoss:Killersareprotectedbythechurch,thelawsaystwopeoplecanfirethesamebulletandnowthevictim'smomforgivesthemurderer.Youfigureitout.
JackMcCoy:Youdon'tthinkyoucould?
JamieRoss:Forgivehim?No.
JackMcCoy:NeithercouldI.Whatdoesthatsayaboutus?
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DetectiveRivera:Youknow,McCoy,youwannaputthebadguysbehindbarsyouhavetogetyourhandsdirty.
JackMcCoy:Theproblemis,detective,sometimesitdoesn'tstopatthehands.
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AdamSchiff:Yougotarounddoublejeopardy.YouclimbedEverestinyourshorts.Onacoldday.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Ispecificallyaskedforhimtobeputonsuicidewatch.ApparentlyhereatRiker'sthatmeanthattheywatchyoucommitsuicide.
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MichaelDobson:YouknowIdon'tneedyoutotellmeI'masonuvabitch.Beenoneforalongtime.Thehoursaregoodandthere'snoheavylifting.ButIhappentobeasonuvabitchwhosewifewasshotbyanothersonuvabitch.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:NewHampshire.Ispentayearthereoneweekend.
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DanielleMelnick:Youturningsoftonme,Jack?
JackMcCoy:YouknowI'masuckerforanexecution.I'mjusthereforthetortellini.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Youknow,ifIdidn'talreadyknowyoudon'thavekids,I'dknowyoudon'thavekids.
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Det.MikeLogan:I'vebeeneagermyself.It'snotacrime.
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AdamSchiff:Forfourmurders,hegetsfiveyears?
JackMcCoy:WhenImadethedeal,Ihadnoidea...
AdamSchiff:Youhadnoideabecauseyourbloodwasrushingdownstreamtosomewheresouthoftheborder.
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[Riflingthrough30-yearoldevidence]
Det.LennieBriscoe:Igotonewordforyou,Rey-plastics.
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AdamSchiff:ClarenceDarrowhadLeopoldandLeob,andwhodowehave?
JackMcCoy:BeavisandButthead.
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[BriscoeandLoganarrestarockstar]
Manager:We'llsueyouforfalsearrest.We'regoingtogetourlawyers.
Det.LennieBriscoe:Oh,lawyers.I'msoscared.Youhearthat,Mike?
Det.MikeLogan:Oh,I'mshakinginmybluesuedeshoes.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Wegotahitonthefakefur.
Det.ReyCurtis:Yeah,you'llneverguesswhattheymakethemoutof.
Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Recycledsodabottles.Whatelsedidyoufindout?
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BenStone:Althoughjusticemustbetemperedwithmercy,itmuststillmaintainasenseofretribution.
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AdamSchiff:Youngpeoplegetimpatientwitholdpeople.Especiallycantankerousones.
BenStone:Ohyeah?Speakingfrompersonalexperience?
AdamSchiff:I'masweetheart.AndI'mmiddleage.
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AdamSchiff:Youandthegirl'slawyerwanttopressureherintopleadingtoalesserchargethatshemight*not*beguiltyofsoshewon'tbeconvictedofamoreseriouschargethatshe*might*beguiltyof?Doesthatmakesense?
BenStone:Withoursystemandimperfectknowledge?Yes.
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BenStone:Thejuryshouldlooklikesociety.Peoplethatrepresentthevictimaswellasthedefendant
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Eventhoughyouareataxpayer,youknow,wedon'tactuallyworkforyoupersonally.
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JackMcCoy:Justiceisaby-productofwinning.
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Det.MikeLogan:Mymotherusedtoholdarosaryinonehandwhileshebeatmewiththeother.ThenexttimeIenterachurch,sixofmyclosestbuddieswillbecarryingme.
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[Tryingtokeepasuspectfromescapingthroughawindow]
Det.EdGreen:Rock,paper,scissors,gun.
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EmilSkoda:That'sjustaloadofrehearsedcrap.
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JackMcCoy:IrememberhowharditwaswhenIrealizedmyfatherwasasonofabitch.Ican'timaginewhatitmustbelikewhenyourealizeyouraisedone.
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JackMcCoy:Youplayedme,yousonofabitch!
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Det.LennieBriscoe:I'mtryingtodecidewhattoarrestyoufor-obstructionofjustice,harboringafugitiveorjustbeingageneralpainintheass!
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DetectiveLennieBriscoe:Wehadadeal,yousonofabitch!
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JackMcCoy:Yousonofabitch!Youplayedme!
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AdamSchiff:Youdowhatyouhavetodo,you'restillwelcometomyscotch.
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[afterconvictingaphysicsprofessorof2nddegreemurder]
BenStone:Butontheotherhandhekilledawoman,soIhadtoplayitbythebook.
AdamSchiff:Youfeelbadaboutthat?
BenStone:Twenty-fiveyears-he'snotyourtypicalkiller.
AdamSchiff:Heis-hekilledsomebody.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:IwanttogotolawschoolsoIcanlearnhowtoturngoldintolead.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Itoldyou,youshouldhavegonetobedwithher.You'regettingthegriefwithoutgettingthegravy.
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JackMcCoy:Yourgriefmightseemalittlemorerealhadyounotjustadmittedyoucutoffyourwife'shead.
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AdamSchiff:...aftertwentyyearsinthisoffice,you'dthinkyou'dhaveasenseofreality.
BenStone:Reality?Therealityisthatnooneiswillingtodrawalineinthesand.Nobodyiswillingtosaythatthelawisthelaw.Andifyoubreakit,youwillbeprosecuted:win,loseordraw.
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Det.EdGreen:Ifyou'regoingtolie,becreativeorwe'llgetbored.
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JackMcCoy:Areyoukidding?ShellyCatescouldconvinceajurythatJeffreyDahmerhadaneatingdisorder.
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JackMcCoy:Sometimesyouhavetomakedealswiththedevil.
JamieRoss:Justmakesureyoudon'tgetyoureyebrowssinged.
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Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Wereyoubornasmart-ass,ordiditjustcomewiththejob?
JackMcCoy:I'mapussycat.Youshould'vemetmyoldman.
Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Lawyer?
JackMcCoy:Cop.
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[tryingtoprosecutetwothrill-killers]
JackMcCoy:I'mplayinglegaltiddlywinkswiththesepunks.WhatI'dreallyliketodoistakethemouttoBatteryParkandhangthembythescrotum.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Boy,I'dhateforsomebodytotracemebywhatIread.
Det.ReyCurtis:Youread,Lennie?
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Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Ifhe'snotFallon,whothehellishe?
Det.LennieBriscoe:WelltheFBIsayshe'snotinthewitnessprotectionprogrambuttheymightahadtheirfingerscrossed.
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Witness:Itusedtobethatyouhonkedwhensomebodycutyouoff.Nowtheydragyououtofthecar,andbeatthecrapoutofyou.
Det.ReyCurtis:Whynot?Who'sgonnastophim?You?
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JackMcCoy:NevergetFreudianonamanholdingapickle.
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Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Doyoubelievehim?
Det.LennieBriscoe:Ibelieveonagooddayhecouldn'thithisasswithbothhands.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:WhenIwasakidgrowinguparoundhere,worstthingthatcouldhappenwasyouskinnedyourkneeplayingJohnnyonthepony.
Det.ReyCurtis:Idon'tremembermychildhoodbeingthatrosy.
Det.LennieBriscoe:Whenwasthat,lastweek?
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DanielleMelnick:JulianPrusseisaccusedofacrimebutthatdoesn'tmakehimHannibalLecter.
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DanielleMelnick:Hello,Jack.Ok,let'stalkturkey.Whatareyouupto?...Anddon'tgivemethatpartylineaboutPrussebeingathreattosociety.
JackMcCoy:Whenyouargue,Ihavethiscompulsiveneedtoargueback.
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Lt.AnitaVanBuren:So,Iheardyouwentinhotpursuittoday.
Det.EdGreen:Yeah.Perptriedtoclimboutthewindow.
Lt.AnitaVanBuren:I'msurprisedyoudidn'tpushhim.
Det.EdGreen:[pause]Me,too.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:[indisgusttoDet.EdGreen]Ed,Isoldmyplantationoveracenturyago.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Divorcelawyers...God'swayoftellingyoutostaysingle.
Det.ReyCurtis:Ormarried.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Love-adangerousdiseaseinstantlycuredbymarriage.
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ADAJamieRoss:Ibelieveinmonstersandthingsthatgobumpinthenight,Jack.Maytheyrotinhell,alongwiththeirattorneys.
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Det.MikeLogan:Ithoughtshesaidshehadn'tspokentoherexinoverayear?
Det.LennieBriscoe:Maybeshegotherdatesmixedup.
Det.MikeLogan:Yourememberthelasttimeyoutalkedtoyourex?
Det.LennieBriscoe:July17,19942:35pm
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Det.MikeLogan:Look,Eric,letmemakethisrealsimple.We'regonnalookatyourgirlfriend'sIDandifshe'sonedayshyofseventeen,we'regonnasweepthisentireplaceandwhatdoyoubetwe'llfindsomesortofcontrolledsubstance?
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[aboutamotherkickingherdrug-addictdaughteroutonthestreets]
Det.LennieBriscoe:So,themothershould'veallowedherdaughtertoshootthefamilyfortuneintoherarm?
Det.MikeLogan:Wouldyoukickyourdaughteroutjusttosavethefamilyfortune?
Det.LennieBriscoe:Mydaughtercouldgothroughmyfamilyfortuneinadayandahalf.
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[afterClairesavesBenfrombeingheldincontempt]
Judge:Giveheraraise,Ben.Becauseyouwereabouttowalkoutofhereincuffs.
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RacistKiller:Youeverseeablacklawyeratwork?It'slikewatchingaplatypus.
Defenseatty.:Aplatypus,huh?That'sabigword.Youknow,youdon'tsoundasstupidasyoulook.
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EADABenStone:Idon'tmindwhenyouwanttomakenewlaw,Norman,butnexttimeIwishyou'dchooseamoredeservingclient.
Prof.NormanRothenberg:Wecan'talwayschoosethem,Ben.
EADABenStone:Soitdoesn'tconcernyouthatjusticewon'tbedone?
Prof.NormanRothenberg:Myonlyconcernisthelaw.I'llleavejusticetoamoremajesticauthority.
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D.A.ArthurBranch:Sometimesthegoodyoudowon'tdoyouanygood.
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AdamSchiff:Amotivepulledstraightfromthetabloids.Andwhataboutmeansandopportunity?Areyougettingthatfromcomicbooks?
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EADABenStone:Myfatherwantedmetobeadoctor.Itookayearofmedicalschooljusttopleasehim.
AdamSchiff:Whathappened?
EADABenStone:Igrewup.
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Det.MikeLogan:We'regoingforarecord.
Det.LennieBriscoe:Whatscaresmeistheday'snotoveryet.
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[regardingacasewherethewifecutherhusband'spenisoff]
Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Shemightaswellhaveputitthroughtheheart.
Det.MikeLogan:That'snotverycompassionate.
Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Whatkindoflifeisthisguygonnahavewithout...youknow?
Det.MikeLogan:Maybehe'sgotsomeotherlife-longpursuits.
Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Likewhat?Youthinkheplaystheclarinet?
Det.MikeLogan:Ihopeheplaystheclarinet.
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Sgt.MaxGreevey:Idon'twannaseethisguywithoutback-up.
Det.MikeLogan:Back-up?Idon'twannaseehimwithoutnuclearweapons.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:JustliketheBatesHotel.Theycheckinbuttheynevercheckout.
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Prof.NormanRothenberg:Whatpartofdoublejeopardydon'tyouunderstand?
JackMcCoy:I'mwellacquaintedwithitMr.Rothenberg,anditdoesn'tscareme.
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[avictimhasdied,apparentlyduringS&Msex]
MedicalExaminerElizabethRodgers:Nodefensivewounds.
Det.LennieBriscoe:That'sodd.
MedicalExaminerElizabethRodgers:Yeah,thefunpartfortheseguysisthestruggleAFTERthey'vebeentiedup.
[pause]
MedicalExaminerElizabethRodgers:OrsoI'veheard.
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Lt.AnitaVanBuren:I'dlikeitifyoutwobecamerealpartners.
DetectiveLennieBriscoe:AndI'dlikeitifmyex-wivesgotpartners.Nomorealimony.
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DetectiveLennieBriscoe:Youknow,Rey,ifyoueverleftthepolicedepartment,youcouldhaveahellofacareerasaneggtimer.
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Lt.AnitaVanBuren:I'dbettergo.I'mlateformydailyspankingatOnePolicePlaza.
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DABranch:Well,IguessitbeatsdousingyourselfinrumandlightingupaCohiba.
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EADAJackMcCoy:Youcanre-writethelawwhenyou'reappointedtotheSupremeCourt.
D.A.ArthurBranch:Godwilling.
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ADAJackMcCoy:Therecomesatimeineveryone'spoliticalcareerwhenyouhavetoexpectacoupleovereasyinthekisser.
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[handcuffingasuspect]
Det.LennieBriscoe:You'veheardoftheSevenRingsofSaturn?ThesearetheTwoRingsofRiker's.
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JackMcCoy:[ataself-proclaimedpsychic'strial]So,howwillthistrialturnout?
Defenseattorney:[shouts]Objection!
Judge:Veryfunny,Mr.McCoy.Pleasedon'tdothatagain
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ADASerenaSoutherlyn:So,hersexlifeiswaybetterthanmine,sowhat?
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BenStone:I'mnottheoneontrialhere,andI'mtheonewhoasksthequestions!
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Det.EdGreen:[asuspect,who'dcomplainedofradiatingpaininhisneck,triestoescapefromhisapartment;Greengoestoapprehendhim]That'sgood,nowradiateyourassupagainstthewall!
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[thedriverofaJaguarhasbeenshot;acarjackingissuspected]
Det.EdGreen:Justgiveupthecar!Man,whenarepeoplegonnarealizeitisn'tworthyourlife?
Det.LennieBriscoe:Spokenlikesomebodywho'sneverownedaJag.
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Det.ReyCurtis:WhenIfilledoutmyethnicity,Ihadtoput"Other"...
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JackMcCoy:[waiterbringsadrinkboughtbythedefenseattorneyinthelastcase]Takeitback.
ADAClaireKincaid:Youcan'tforgiveanyone,canyou?
JackMcCoy:Nope.Besides,thatwasbourbon;I'mdrinkingscotch.
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DanielleMelnick:[toawitness]Youwerescheduledtobedeported,wereyounot?Butinexchangeforyourtestimony...
BenStone:Objection!That'salie!
Judge:Approach.
[Theydo]
Judge:Allquestionsoffactwillbeforthejurytodecide,MisterStone.
BenStone:IfI'mslandered,YourHonor,Ihavetodefendmyself.
Judge:Ms.Melnick,anyremarkswhichfurtherprovokeMr.Stonewillalsoprovokeme-andyouwillregretit.
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[anelderlywitnesshascalledthepolicedepartment]
Lt.AnitaVanBuren:[Hangsupphone]Anyoneofyouhaveagirlfriendinanursinghome?
Det.MikeLogan:ThatwouldbeLennie.
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[aboutClaireKincaid'sdeath]
JackMcCoy:Youknow,beforeithappened...shewantedtoquit.Italkedheroutofit.
Det.LennieBriscoe:Yeah,well...Icouldhavekeptwalkingpastthatbar.
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[lookingatamurdervictim]
Det.EdGreen:Barefoot,crosspaintedonherchest.Lookslikewe'redealingwithsomereligiousnut.
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Det.JoeFontana:Ididn'trealizeIgottransferedintothelocalchapterofAmnestyInternational.
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[watchingVanBurenandFontanatearintoeachother]
Det.EdGreen:Look,wecansithereandarguepoliticsalldaylong,butthere'sstillgonnabeadeadgirlinthemorgue.
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MedicalExaminerElizabethRodgers:Igotanotherbodycomingin.Guytookajavelintothechest.
Det.LennieBriscoe:Whyareyoustillinthislineofwork?
MedicalExaminerElizabethRodgers:Freejavelins.
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[phonerings,Rodgersanswers]
MedicalExaminerElizabethRodgers:Rodgers.
[pause;shehandsthephonetoGreen]
MedicalExaminerElizabethRodgers:Yourlieutenant.
[Greenlooksatthereceiverbutwon'ttouchit]
Det.EdGreen:What'sthatonthereceiver?Brains?
MedicalExaminerElizabethRodgers:Eggsalad,maybe.
Det.EdGreen:Yougotanotherphone?
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[lookingatahospitalsignthatsays"PediatricOncology"]
Det.LennieBriscoe:Nowthere'stwowordsthatshouldnevergotogether.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:[IswaitingforMcCoyoutsideahospital]Didyouputironinyourcheeriosthismorning?.
JackMcCoy:Areyoutalkingtomenow?
Det.LennieBriscoe:Hey,dothingsourwayandwe'lltalktoyouallyouwant.
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Det.ReyCurtis:Hey,didn'tyoulearnanythingfromMisterRogers?Apolicemanisyourbestfriend.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Thosecrimesceneguysareoverrated.Theyallthinkthey'recops.
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ADAJackMcCoy:Ifthat'sthewayyoufeel,Danielle,movetosuppress.
DanielleMelnick:Right.JudgeLogan'sgonnaruleFISAviolatestheFourthAmendment.Howmanybeershave*you*had?
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JackMcCoy:[ajudgeinL.A.hasjustruledtonullifyanextraditionorder]Speakup,YourHonor.TherearesomepeopleintheBronxwhodidn'thearyou.
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[toareluctantwitness]
DetectiveLennieBriscoe:There'snosuchthingashooker-clientconfidentiality.
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JackMcCoy:ThelasttimeIchecked,"Stupid"isn'tadefenseformurder!
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Det.ReyCurtis:Scientists!Iftheycandoit,theydoit.Theyneverthinkwhetherthey*should*doit.
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Capt.DonaldCragen:What'dhesay?
Det.MikeLogan:Hetoldustogotohell
Capt.DonaldCragen:Well,atleasthe'sgotawaywithwords.
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BenStone:I'maCatholic-Icanfeelguiltyaboutanything.
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Arraignmentjudge:Lifeisbeautiful.AllGod'schildrenareinnocent.
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EADABenStone:Mr.Bregman,youarepossiblythestupidestcriminalIhaveevermet.
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EADABenStone:I'mresponsibleformyactions,notthecolorofmyskin.Andifitmakesyoufeelgoodtocallmearacist,fine.Butifyouwanttoknowwho'sreallyresponsibleforracismintoday'ssociety,takeagoodlookinthemirror.
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AdamSchiff:Flippedacoininmyhead.Cameuptails.Talktotheboy.
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AdamSchiff:Peopleseethedevilasanallegory.
ADAJackMcCoy:I'mnotsosureIdo.
AbbieCarmichael:Hornsandapitchfork,Jack?
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[aboutgaymarriage]
JackMcCoy:Let'emmarry.Whyshouldn'ttheybeasmiserableastherestofus?
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AbbieCarmichael:Ugh.Doctors.Ican'tbelievemymotherwantedmetomarryone.
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CoffeeShopClerk:[BriscoeandCurtisareinvestigatingthedisappearanceofacoffeeshopowner]Heusuallylikestokeepaclosewatchonthecashdrawer,buthehasn'tbeenaroundinacoupleofdays.Anyway,howaboutafreelargelatteonthehouse?
Det.LennieBriscoe:Maybeforthekidhere,butI'dlikearegularcoffee.
CoffeeShopClerk:Okay,howwouldyoulikeit?
Det.LennieBriscoe:Uh,regular?
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Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Itwasn'ttheeighteenfloorsfromthewindowtothestreetthatkilledher,itwasthesuddenstop.
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[afterbeingledtothebodyofaslaincopbyaconfessionobtainedbyafaultydeal]
Det.LennieBriscoe:Congratulations,youjustboughttheBrooklynBridgefromadoublemurderer.
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Det.ReyCurtis:You'reaCatholic.
JackMcCoy:Notatwork.Sorry.
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AdamSchiff:What?Amotherandsonkillingeachother'sspouses.Whattheheckkindoffamilyisthis?
AbbieCarmichael:Adysfunctionalone.
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ADAJackMcCoy:SometimesLennieBriscoedoesn'thititoutofthepark.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Idon'tliketobesecondguessed!
[referringtoEdGreen]
Det.LennieBriscoe:I'vebeenwalkingoneggshellsthewholetimehe'sbeenhere!
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[toBriscoeafterheexitedfromaninterrogationroomwherethereisayoungsuspect]
AbbieCarmichael:Oh,great.Youmadehercry.
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AbbieCarmichael:Gentleman,ifwecanjustlowertheamountoftestosterone...
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ADASerenaSoutherlyn:[afterbeingfired]IsthisbecauseI'malesbian?
印達姆生活百貨http://www.indahmu.com
法律與秩序劇情介紹, 法與制劇情介紹, 法律與秩序花絮, 主演:邁克爾·因佩裡奧利,安吉·哈蒙,Elisabeth Rohm, 電影
法律與秩序,法與制,劇情花絮:Theshowfollowsacrime,usuallyadaptedfromcurrentheadlines,fromtwoseparatev…
Theshowfollowsacrime,usuallyadaptedfromcurrentheadlines,fromtwoseparatevantagepoints.Thefirsthalfoftheshowconcentratesontheinvestigationofthecrimebythepolice,thesecondhalffollowstheprosecutionofthecrimeincourt.
[Openingnarration]
Narrator:Inthecriminaljusticesystem,thepeoplearerepresentedbytwoseparateyetequallyimportantgroups:thepolice,whoinvestigatecrime;andthedistrictattorneys,whoprosecutetheoffenders.Thesearetheirstories.
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[Discussingasmallsteelspringthatisradioactive]
Scientist:Sodoyouhaveanysuspectswithnuclearreactorsintheirbasements?
Det.LennieBriscoe:Asamatteroffact,wedo.
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BenStone:Bettertolightamatchthancursethedarkness.
AdamSchiff:Becarefulyoudon'tlightafuse.
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AdamSchiff:Terrific.Nowtowinalarcenytrialallwehavetodoisprovehowtheuniverseends.
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AdamSchiff:Whathappenedto"Givemeyourhuddledmasses"?Whatthehellhashappenedtothiscity?
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JamieRoss:Killersareprotectedbythechurch,thelawsaystwopeoplecanfirethesamebulletandnowthevictim'smomforgivesthemurderer.Youfigureitout.
JackMcCoy:Youdon'tthinkyoucould?
JamieRoss:Forgivehim?No.
JackMcCoy:NeithercouldI.Whatdoesthatsayaboutus?
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DetectiveRivera:Youknow,McCoy,youwannaputthebadguysbehindbarsyouhavetogetyourhandsdirty.
JackMcCoy:Theproblemis,detective,sometimesitdoesn'tstopatthehands.
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AdamSchiff:Yougotarounddoublejeopardy.YouclimbedEverestinyourshorts.Onacoldday.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Ispecificallyaskedforhimtobeputonsuicidewatch.ApparentlyhereatRiker'sthatmeanthattheywatchyoucommitsuicide.
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MichaelDobson:YouknowIdon'tneedyoutotellmeI'masonuvabitch.Beenoneforalongtime.Thehoursaregoodandthere'snoheavylifting.ButIhappentobeasonuvabitchwhosewifewasshotbyanothersonuvabitch.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:NewHampshire.Ispentayearthereoneweekend.
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DanielleMelnick:Youturningsoftonme,Jack?
JackMcCoy:YouknowI'masuckerforanexecution.I'mjusthereforthetortellini.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Youknow,ifIdidn'talreadyknowyoudon'thavekids,I'dknowyoudon'thavekids.
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Det.MikeLogan:I'vebeeneagermyself.It'snotacrime.
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AdamSchiff:Forfourmurders,hegetsfiveyears?
JackMcCoy:WhenImadethedeal,Ihadnoidea...
AdamSchiff:Youhadnoideabecauseyourbloodwasrushingdownstreamtosomewheresouthoftheborder.
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[Riflingthrough30-yearoldevidence]
Det.LennieBriscoe:Igotonewordforyou,Rey-plastics.
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AdamSchiff:ClarenceDarrowhadLeopoldandLeob,andwhodowehave?
JackMcCoy:BeavisandButthead.
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[BriscoeandLoganarrestarockstar]
Manager:We'llsueyouforfalsearrest.We'regoingtogetourlawyers.
Det.LennieBriscoe:Oh,lawyers.I'msoscared.Youhearthat,Mike?
Det.MikeLogan:Oh,I'mshakinginmybluesuedeshoes.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Wegotahitonthefakefur.
Det.ReyCurtis:Yeah,you'llneverguesswhattheymakethemoutof.
Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Recycledsodabottles.Whatelsedidyoufindout?
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BenStone:Althoughjusticemustbetemperedwithmercy,itmuststillmaintainasenseofretribution.
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AdamSchiff:Youngpeoplegetimpatientwitholdpeople.Especiallycantankerousones.
BenStone:Ohyeah?Speakingfrompersonalexperience?
AdamSchiff:I'masweetheart.AndI'mmiddleage.
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AdamSchiff:Youandthegirl'slawyerwanttopressureherintopleadingtoalesserchargethatshemight*not*beguiltyofsoshewon'tbeconvictedofamoreseriouschargethatshe*might*beguiltyof?Doesthatmakesense?
BenStone:Withoursystemandimperfectknowledge?Yes.
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BenStone:Thejuryshouldlooklikesociety.Peoplethatrepresentthevictimaswellasthedefendant
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Eventhoughyouareataxpayer,youknow,wedon'tactuallyworkforyoupersonally.
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JackMcCoy:Justiceisaby-productofwinning.
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Det.MikeLogan:Mymotherusedtoholdarosaryinonehandwhileshebeatmewiththeother.ThenexttimeIenterachurch,sixofmyclosestbuddieswillbecarryingme.
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[Tryingtokeepasuspectfromescapingthroughawindow]
Det.EdGreen:Rock,paper,scissors,gun.
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EmilSkoda:That'sjustaloadofrehearsedcrap.
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JackMcCoy:IrememberhowharditwaswhenIrealizedmyfatherwasasonofabitch.Ican'timaginewhatitmustbelikewhenyourealizeyouraisedone.
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JackMcCoy:Youplayedme,yousonofabitch!
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Det.LennieBriscoe:I'mtryingtodecidewhattoarrestyoufor-obstructionofjustice,harboringafugitiveorjustbeingageneralpainintheass!
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DetectiveLennieBriscoe:Wehadadeal,yousonofabitch!
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JackMcCoy:Yousonofabitch!Youplayedme!
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AdamSchiff:Youdowhatyouhavetodo,you'restillwelcometomyscotch.
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[afterconvictingaphysicsprofessorof2nddegreemurder]
BenStone:Butontheotherhandhekilledawoman,soIhadtoplayitbythebook.
AdamSchiff:Youfeelbadaboutthat?
BenStone:Twenty-fiveyears-he'snotyourtypicalkiller.
AdamSchiff:Heis-hekilledsomebody.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:IwanttogotolawschoolsoIcanlearnhowtoturngoldintolead.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Itoldyou,youshouldhavegonetobedwithher.You'regettingthegriefwithoutgettingthegravy.
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JackMcCoy:Yourgriefmightseemalittlemorerealhadyounotjustadmittedyoucutoffyourwife'shead.
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AdamSchiff:...aftertwentyyearsinthisoffice,you'dthinkyou'dhaveasenseofreality.
BenStone:Reality?Therealityisthatnooneiswillingtodrawalineinthesand.Nobodyiswillingtosaythatthelawisthelaw.Andifyoubreakit,youwillbeprosecuted:win,loseordraw.
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Det.EdGreen:Ifyou'regoingtolie,becreativeorwe'llgetbored.
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JackMcCoy:Areyoukidding?ShellyCatescouldconvinceajurythatJeffreyDahmerhadaneatingdisorder.
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JackMcCoy:Sometimesyouhavetomakedealswiththedevil.
JamieRoss:Justmakesureyoudon'tgetyoureyebrowssinged.
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Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Wereyoubornasmart-ass,ordiditjustcomewiththejob?
JackMcCoy:I'mapussycat.Youshould'vemetmyoldman.
Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Lawyer?
JackMcCoy:Cop.
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[tryingtoprosecutetwothrill-killers]
JackMcCoy:I'mplayinglegaltiddlywinkswiththesepunks.WhatI'dreallyliketodoistakethemouttoBatteryParkandhangthembythescrotum.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Boy,I'dhateforsomebodytotracemebywhatIread.
Det.ReyCurtis:Youread,Lennie?
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Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Ifhe'snotFallon,whothehellishe?
Det.LennieBriscoe:WelltheFBIsayshe'snotinthewitnessprotectionprogrambuttheymightahadtheirfingerscrossed.
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Witness:Itusedtobethatyouhonkedwhensomebodycutyouoff.Nowtheydragyououtofthecar,andbeatthecrapoutofyou.
Det.ReyCurtis:Whynot?Who'sgonnastophim?You?
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JackMcCoy:NevergetFreudianonamanholdingapickle.
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Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Doyoubelievehim?
Det.LennieBriscoe:Ibelieveonagooddayhecouldn'thithisasswithbothhands.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:WhenIwasakidgrowinguparoundhere,worstthingthatcouldhappenwasyouskinnedyourkneeplayingJohnnyonthepony.
Det.ReyCurtis:Idon'tremembermychildhoodbeingthatrosy.
Det.LennieBriscoe:Whenwasthat,lastweek?
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DanielleMelnick:JulianPrusseisaccusedofacrimebutthatdoesn'tmakehimHannibalLecter.
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DanielleMelnick:Hello,Jack.Ok,let'stalkturkey.Whatareyouupto?...Anddon'tgivemethatpartylineaboutPrussebeingathreattosociety.
JackMcCoy:Whenyouargue,Ihavethiscompulsiveneedtoargueback.
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Lt.AnitaVanBuren:So,Iheardyouwentinhotpursuittoday.
Det.EdGreen:Yeah.Perptriedtoclimboutthewindow.
Lt.AnitaVanBuren:I'msurprisedyoudidn'tpushhim.
Det.EdGreen:[pause]Me,too.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:[indisgusttoDet.EdGreen]Ed,Isoldmyplantationoveracenturyago.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Divorcelawyers...God'swayoftellingyoutostaysingle.
Det.ReyCurtis:Ormarried.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Love-adangerousdiseaseinstantlycuredbymarriage.
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ADAJamieRoss:Ibelieveinmonstersandthingsthatgobumpinthenight,Jack.Maytheyrotinhell,alongwiththeirattorneys.
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Det.MikeLogan:Ithoughtshesaidshehadn'tspokentoherexinoverayear?
Det.LennieBriscoe:Maybeshegotherdatesmixedup.
Det.MikeLogan:Yourememberthelasttimeyoutalkedtoyourex?
Det.LennieBriscoe:July17,19942:35pm
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Det.MikeLogan:Look,Eric,letmemakethisrealsimple.We'regonnalookatyourgirlfriend'sIDandifshe'sonedayshyofseventeen,we'regonnasweepthisentireplaceandwhatdoyoubetwe'llfindsomesortofcontrolledsubstance?
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[aboutamotherkickingherdrug-addictdaughteroutonthestreets]
Det.LennieBriscoe:So,themothershould'veallowedherdaughtertoshootthefamilyfortuneintoherarm?
Det.MikeLogan:Wouldyoukickyourdaughteroutjusttosavethefamilyfortune?
Det.LennieBriscoe:Mydaughtercouldgothroughmyfamilyfortuneinadayandahalf.
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[afterClairesavesBenfrombeingheldincontempt]
Judge:Giveheraraise,Ben.Becauseyouwereabouttowalkoutofhereincuffs.
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RacistKiller:Youeverseeablacklawyeratwork?It'slikewatchingaplatypus.
Defenseatty.:Aplatypus,huh?That'sabigword.Youknow,youdon'tsoundasstupidasyoulook.
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EADABenStone:Idon'tmindwhenyouwanttomakenewlaw,Norman,butnexttimeIwishyou'dchooseamoredeservingclient.
Prof.NormanRothenberg:Wecan'talwayschoosethem,Ben.
EADABenStone:Soitdoesn'tconcernyouthatjusticewon'tbedone?
Prof.NormanRothenberg:Myonlyconcernisthelaw.I'llleavejusticetoamoremajesticauthority.
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D.A.ArthurBranch:Sometimesthegoodyoudowon'tdoyouanygood.
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AdamSchiff:Amotivepulledstraightfromthetabloids.Andwhataboutmeansandopportunity?Areyougettingthatfromcomicbooks?
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EADABenStone:Myfatherwantedmetobeadoctor.Itookayearofmedicalschooljusttopleasehim.
AdamSchiff:Whathappened?
EADABenStone:Igrewup.
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Det.MikeLogan:We'regoingforarecord.
Det.LennieBriscoe:Whatscaresmeistheday'snotoveryet.
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[regardingacasewherethewifecutherhusband'spenisoff]
Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Shemightaswellhaveputitthroughtheheart.
Det.MikeLogan:That'snotverycompassionate.
Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Whatkindoflifeisthisguygonnahavewithout...youknow?
Det.MikeLogan:Maybehe'sgotsomeotherlife-longpursuits.
Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Likewhat?Youthinkheplaystheclarinet?
Det.MikeLogan:Ihopeheplaystheclarinet.
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Sgt.MaxGreevey:Idon'twannaseethisguywithoutback-up.
Det.MikeLogan:Back-up?Idon'twannaseehimwithoutnuclearweapons.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:JustliketheBatesHotel.Theycheckinbuttheynevercheckout.
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Prof.NormanRothenberg:Whatpartofdoublejeopardydon'tyouunderstand?
JackMcCoy:I'mwellacquaintedwithitMr.Rothenberg,anditdoesn'tscareme.
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[avictimhasdied,apparentlyduringS&Msex]
MedicalExaminerElizabethRodgers:Nodefensivewounds.
Det.LennieBriscoe:That'sodd.
MedicalExaminerElizabethRodgers:Yeah,thefunpartfortheseguysisthestruggleAFTERthey'vebeentiedup.
[pause]
MedicalExaminerElizabethRodgers:OrsoI'veheard.
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Lt.AnitaVanBuren:I'dlikeitifyoutwobecamerealpartners.
DetectiveLennieBriscoe:AndI'dlikeitifmyex-wivesgotpartners.Nomorealimony.
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DetectiveLennieBriscoe:Youknow,Rey,ifyoueverleftthepolicedepartment,youcouldhaveahellofacareerasaneggtimer.
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Lt.AnitaVanBuren:I'dbettergo.I'mlateformydailyspankingatOnePolicePlaza.
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DABranch:Well,IguessitbeatsdousingyourselfinrumandlightingupaCohiba.
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EADAJackMcCoy:Youcanre-writethelawwhenyou'reappointedtotheSupremeCourt.
D.A.ArthurBranch:Godwilling.
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ADAJackMcCoy:Therecomesatimeineveryone'spoliticalcareerwhenyouhavetoexpectacoupleovereasyinthekisser.
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[handcuffingasuspect]
Det.LennieBriscoe:You'veheardoftheSevenRingsofSaturn?ThesearetheTwoRingsofRiker's.
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JackMcCoy:[ataself-proclaimedpsychic'strial]So,howwillthistrialturnout?
Defenseattorney:[shouts]Objection!
Judge:Veryfunny,Mr.McCoy.Pleasedon'tdothatagain
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ADASerenaSoutherlyn:So,hersexlifeiswaybetterthanmine,sowhat?
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BenStone:I'mnottheoneontrialhere,andI'mtheonewhoasksthequestions!
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Det.EdGreen:[asuspect,who'dcomplainedofradiatingpaininhisneck,triestoescapefromhisapartment;Greengoestoapprehendhim]That'sgood,nowradiateyourassupagainstthewall!
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[thedriverofaJaguarhasbeenshot;acarjackingissuspected]
Det.EdGreen:Justgiveupthecar!Man,whenarepeoplegonnarealizeitisn'tworthyourlife?
Det.LennieBriscoe:Spokenlikesomebodywho'sneverownedaJag.
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Det.ReyCurtis:WhenIfilledoutmyethnicity,Ihadtoput"Other"...
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JackMcCoy:[waiterbringsadrinkboughtbythedefenseattorneyinthelastcase]Takeitback.
ADAClaireKincaid:Youcan'tforgiveanyone,canyou?
JackMcCoy:Nope.Besides,thatwasbourbon;I'mdrinkingscotch.
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DanielleMelnick:[toawitness]Youwerescheduledtobedeported,wereyounot?Butinexchangeforyourtestimony...
BenStone:Objection!That'salie!
Judge:Approach.
[Theydo]
Judge:Allquestionsoffactwillbeforthejurytodecide,MisterStone.
BenStone:IfI'mslandered,YourHonor,Ihavetodefendmyself.
Judge:Ms.Melnick,anyremarkswhichfurtherprovokeMr.Stonewillalsoprovokeme-andyouwillregretit.
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[anelderlywitnesshascalledthepolicedepartment]
Lt.AnitaVanBuren:[Hangsupphone]Anyoneofyouhaveagirlfriendinanursinghome?
Det.MikeLogan:ThatwouldbeLennie.
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[aboutClaireKincaid'sdeath]
JackMcCoy:Youknow,beforeithappened...shewantedtoquit.Italkedheroutofit.
Det.LennieBriscoe:Yeah,well...Icouldhavekeptwalkingpastthatbar.
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[lookingatamurdervictim]
Det.EdGreen:Barefoot,crosspaintedonherchest.Lookslikewe'redealingwithsomereligiousnut.
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Det.JoeFontana:Ididn'trealizeIgottransferedintothelocalchapterofAmnestyInternational.
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[watchingVanBurenandFontanatearintoeachother]
Det.EdGreen:Look,wecansithereandarguepoliticsalldaylong,butthere'sstillgonnabeadeadgirlinthemorgue.
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MedicalExaminerElizabethRodgers:Igotanotherbodycomingin.Guytookajavelintothechest.
Det.LennieBriscoe:Whyareyoustillinthislineofwork?
MedicalExaminerElizabethRodgers:Freejavelins.
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[phonerings,Rodgersanswers]
MedicalExaminerElizabethRodgers:Rodgers.
[pause;shehandsthephonetoGreen]
MedicalExaminerElizabethRodgers:Yourlieutenant.
[Greenlooksatthereceiverbutwon'ttouchit]
Det.EdGreen:What'sthatonthereceiver?Brains?
MedicalExaminerElizabethRodgers:Eggsalad,maybe.
Det.EdGreen:Yougotanotherphone?
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[lookingatahospitalsignthatsays"PediatricOncology"]
Det.LennieBriscoe:Nowthere'stwowordsthatshouldnevergotogether.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:[IswaitingforMcCoyoutsideahospital]Didyouputironinyourcheeriosthismorning?.
JackMcCoy:Areyoutalkingtomenow?
Det.LennieBriscoe:Hey,dothingsourwayandwe'lltalktoyouallyouwant.
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Det.ReyCurtis:Hey,didn'tyoulearnanythingfromMisterRogers?Apolicemanisyourbestfriend.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Thosecrimesceneguysareoverrated.Theyallthinkthey'recops.
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ADAJackMcCoy:Ifthat'sthewayyoufeel,Danielle,movetosuppress.
DanielleMelnick:Right.JudgeLogan'sgonnaruleFISAviolatestheFourthAmendment.Howmanybeershave*you*had?
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JackMcCoy:[ajudgeinL.A.hasjustruledtonullifyanextraditionorder]Speakup,YourHonor.TherearesomepeopleintheBronxwhodidn'thearyou.
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[toareluctantwitness]
DetectiveLennieBriscoe:There'snosuchthingashooker-clientconfidentiality.
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JackMcCoy:ThelasttimeIchecked,"Stupid"isn'tadefenseformurder!
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Det.ReyCurtis:Scientists!Iftheycandoit,theydoit.Theyneverthinkwhetherthey*should*doit.
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Capt.DonaldCragen:What'dhesay?
Det.MikeLogan:Hetoldustogotohell
Capt.DonaldCragen:Well,atleasthe'sgotawaywithwords.
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BenStone:I'maCatholic-Icanfeelguiltyaboutanything.
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Arraignmentjudge:Lifeisbeautiful.AllGod'schildrenareinnocent.
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EADABenStone:Mr.Bregman,youarepossiblythestupidestcriminalIhaveevermet.
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EADABenStone:I'mresponsibleformyactions,notthecolorofmyskin.Andifitmakesyoufeelgoodtocallmearacist,fine.Butifyouwanttoknowwho'sreallyresponsibleforracismintoday'ssociety,takeagoodlookinthemirror.
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AdamSchiff:Flippedacoininmyhead.Cameuptails.Talktotheboy.
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AdamSchiff:Peopleseethedevilasanallegory.
ADAJackMcCoy:I'mnotsosureIdo.
AbbieCarmichael:Hornsandapitchfork,Jack?
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[aboutgaymarriage]
JackMcCoy:Let'emmarry.Whyshouldn'ttheybeasmiserableastherestofus?
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AbbieCarmichael:Ugh.Doctors.Ican'tbelievemymotherwantedmetomarryone.
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CoffeeShopClerk:[BriscoeandCurtisareinvestigatingthedisappearanceofacoffeeshopowner]Heusuallylikestokeepaclosewatchonthecashdrawer,buthehasn'tbeenaroundinacoupleofdays.Anyway,howaboutafreelargelatteonthehouse?
Det.LennieBriscoe:Maybeforthekidhere,butI'dlikearegularcoffee.
CoffeeShopClerk:Okay,howwouldyoulikeit?
Det.LennieBriscoe:Uh,regular?
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Lt.AnitaVanBuren:Itwasn'ttheeighteenfloorsfromthewindowtothestreetthatkilledher,itwasthesuddenstop.
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[afterbeingledtothebodyofaslaincopbyaconfessionobtainedbyafaultydeal]
Det.LennieBriscoe:Congratulations,youjustboughttheBrooklynBridgefromadoublemurderer.
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Det.ReyCurtis:You'reaCatholic.
JackMcCoy:Notatwork.Sorry.
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AdamSchiff:What?Amotherandsonkillingeachother'sspouses.Whattheheckkindoffamilyisthis?
AbbieCarmichael:Adysfunctionalone.
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ADAJackMcCoy:SometimesLennieBriscoedoesn'thititoutofthepark.
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Det.LennieBriscoe:Idon'tliketobesecondguessed!
[referringtoEdGreen]
Det.LennieBriscoe:I'vebeenwalkingoneggshellsthewholetimehe'sbeenhere!
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[toBriscoeafterheexitedfromaninterrogationroomwherethereisayoungsuspect]
AbbieCarmichael:Oh,great.Youmadehercry.
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AbbieCarmichael:Gentleman,ifwecanjustlowertheamountoftestosterone...
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ADASerenaSoutherlyn:[afterbeingfired]IsthisbecauseI'malesbian?
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